Cinco de Messo

Some of my American friends, Nate and Lily, live in this apartment with an amazing rooftop, and they offered to throw a Cinco de Mayo (Chingu de Mexico, for my friends from Korea) party.  It was amazing, they are great hosts and they make a mean margarita!  Of course, smashedness ensued.  Enough so that I sent these pics to about 15 people on my whatsapp.

 I only vaguely remember this conversation with a stranger at a bar, and it could definitely be a false memory, but would I really subconsciously make this up??  I sure hope not.

My last memory from the night is Nate ordering a bucket of beers and usually you are meant to pick one brad of beer, but he pushed for a sampler bucket and we got one of each on the list, the waitress was very confused.  Then, because I had seen waffle fries earlier in the week, it was on my mind and I really wanted to get some...but we were Kowloon side (the more Chinese part of HK) so it was pretty much impossible.  Nate kept trying places, but it just wasn't going to happen.  Instead we popped into a 7/11 and i ended up buying a chicken leg that is in a bag and you heat it up in the microwave...gross, but actually kind of delicious...i'm not proud of myself.

The next morning when I woke up I here is what was in my bag:

a towel I had stolen from the bar (the kind they keep on the bar to soak up all the run over alcohol) with a stick on mustache attached to it.  Coincidentally, everything else in my bag was soaked.  

HK is too small

Hong Kong is home to over 7 million people, you would think it would be easy to get lost in that amount of people...well, things don't always work out how they should.  When I first got to HK, I was just out of a long term relationship and kind of a broken person, and this was way before I started sleeping with everyone I met, I had only been with my ex, what can I say, sluts aren't born, they are made, and I am a self-made woman.  So, one night out I met this Moroccan guy named Tofuck, you can read all about what happened here.  And side note to the back story, he slept over and was a bit of a lingerer, this was one of my worst hangovers and i ended up getting sick mid afternoon the next day while he was still there.  Then, I took a shower and was just lying on the shower floor in child's pose for about 45 minutes, he came into the bathroom to ask if I was alright and I just king of mumbled incoherently, then he got in the shower and washed my hair for me.  Still, just want to point out, I didn't have sex with him.  Anyway, we messaged for a while and hung out a couple times after, but he really wasn't my type, so it just kind of fizzled.  About 2 months ago I ran into him in an MTR station on my way home from work, I have moved apartments since we met, changed jobs, my whole schedule and pattern is totally different, so it was really random and weird, but we did the whole polite double kiss on the cheek thing and had a quick little convo...as if that isn't enough, a couple weekends later I ran into him in Dusk til Dawn, and this was after I'd had my fortune told about meeting my boyfriend.  Well, we chatted in the bar, and he said it was fate that we had ran into each other because he had lost all his contacts in his phone and he wanted my number.  This was all too much for me, so I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm, not in a threatening way.  I immediately start crying break the hold and run into the bathroom.  Surely my boyfriend isn't going to be a Tofuck?!?!  As of this posting I haven't seen him and I'm still single, PHEW!

Are you my Boyfriend?

Two Easters ago I went to Taiwan with Becks, and it was an amazing vacay, more importantly its where I got my fortune told for the first time.  Loyal readers of my blog (this is a shout out to you Rach!!) know that since that encounter I am obsessed with this past-time, I've done taro card readings on dates, and pretty much anytime I'm at the temple street market, I get some sort or fortune  palm reading, face reading, tarot cards, I have yet to try to bird that tells you your fortune, but that is next on my list!  So, again, those you read my blog know that when I did my tarot card reading while on a date I asked would I find true love and I turned over a card that said "no hope" needless to say things didn't work out with this guy, but I went back and did the tarot card reading again, because your course can always change right, and so this time I asked if I would find love, not true love, no need to aim too high, and I was told I would meet my boyfriend sometime in the next month.  Well, this was in late March, and April has come and gone, so I don't know where the fuck my boyfriend is hiding, but this relationship is not getting off to a good start!

me with the tarot card that said i would meet my boyfriend...although it kind of looks like a smart phone in this pic

What a Mess

Apple-A-Day April

This was pretty much a bust.  It seemed simple enough after some of my challenges, but I got the stomach flu, so no apple that day or the next, also its really hard to try to choke down an apple when you are hungover.  Most weekdays I was good about having an apple for lunch, but weekends, it was game over.  I'm much better with giving stuff up than having to do something every day.  Oh, well, it's good to learn your strengths, I suppose.

patrick swayze made me lose my wallet

Last Saturday was Beck's birthday, and to celebrate we went to see a stage production of dirty dancing.  After pre-drinks at her place I smuggled a bottle of sparkling wine in to share with my friend Lily.  The show itself was definitely fun, but we pretty much paid to see people pantomiming to pre-recorded voice tracks, which is just a lazy way to put on a show!  Afterwards we went out big.  I woke up with a stranger with a receding hairline, but i think its because of over-wearing baseball caps, not because of his age.  We were fooling around and it wasn't quite working...look, i was dehydrated, and for all i know he had whiskey dick, it can't all be my fault.  Anyway, this caused me to start laughing, because it was taking so long that it was awkward   He hadn't put a condom on, so I asked if he was trying to have unprotected sex with me...no answer, I'm a journalist at the core, so I continued my line of questioning by asking if we had already had unprotected sex...again no answer.  My response:  silence is an answer, then i rolled over and went back to sleep.  I woke up a bit later and we did have sex, but he pulled out and came on my back.  When I finally dragged myself out of his bed, he had been up for a while puttering around his apartment, i hate a lingerer, but I really could not have made myself get up any earlier.  He came into the bedroom and offered me a glass of water.  I got dressed and he told me that when he met me last night I was crying because I had lost my wallet...fuck.  I have no memory of that.  So, I frantically searched through my bag.  Here were the contents:

cork from the bottle of sparkling wine
running shoes
heart rate monitor
octopus card
stevia sweetener
planner
passport pictures

fucking hell, i just lost my wallet 7 months earlier, when will I get my life together?  I guess when i replace all the cards and IDs i just lost.  Well, no use crying over lost wallets, so I went to take a drink of water.  Like I said, I was really dehydrated so I took a huge gulp, and it tasted disgusting so I spit it back out into the glass.  The guy started apologizing and trying to explain that was a different glass with salt water in it, which he uses to rinse.  He handed me the glass with just regular water in it, but the damage had been done.  He offered to walk me to a taxi, but I had no money to pay for one, then he did offer to give me some cash, and despite the fact that he had cum on my back earlier, I still felt like taking money would mean I had no self-respect.  I still had my octo card (mtr/subway/train pass) so he let me to the mtr station and I was on my way.

Later that night I was getting ready to take a bath, and I noticed some white flakes in my belly button.  Now, to be honest I don't clean my belly button that often because it hurts and it ends up being sore for the rest of the day, but of course I'm not going to ignore visible flakes, so I clean it out while I'm taking my bath.  As I'm lying there relaxing, i realize that is from having sex with this guy the first time when he came on my stomach...I should have let him pay for a cab.

Coincidentally, two days later, I fell asleep on a bus and the driver had to wake me up and tell me to get off.  somehow in my rush to get off I managed to also lose the octo card...i have nothing.

***UPDATE***
My wallet was found in tst.  this is not near wan chai, where I lost it.  whoever found it, called the cycling studio i've been going to, to try to get my contact info, and they told the girl there that my walled was in hong kong hotel in tst, check it out, my first thought upon hearing this was that I had gone back to this hotel with some dude, banged him, then went back out to wan chai and went home with another dude.  BUT, i've come to the conclusion that is simply not possible because how could I have paid for a taxi back to wan chai...phew!!  I'm not nearly as slutty as I think I am.  When I did go to the police station to pick up my wallet all that was left was the cards I had already cancelled, some receipts from jello shots bought the night i lost my wallet, some call me maybe cards and stamps for china...thanks good Samaritan.