Awkward Alaska

As mentioned multiple times before, I'm not all that great with remembering names.  Well, I managed to take it a step further here in Alaska.  I was hanging out in the lounge of the employee housing building and a co-worker passed by and introduced me to a guy she was seeing, we chatted for a couple minutes, then went about our separate business.  Later that week, I was in the employee dining room and saw the guy, so I smiled and waved.  I saw him again the next day and smiled and waved again.  Then he asked if I'd like to join him, so I sat down with him and we did the normal surface get to know you chit chat.  As I was walking away from the dining room I realized this was not the same guy and felt like a total creep.

In this situation I ended up not being the total creep though.  This guy started coming up to the front desk where I work and lingering around.  He ended up asking me out, and I'm not used to being asked out, so I stammered a yes and immediately regretted it.  He asked me when my co-worker was standing next to me as well.  To make matters worse, after he left, the co-worker told me he had hooked up with her last season, but mid hook up pulled the brakes and told her he couldn't hook up because he had a girlfriend...gross.  Then she continues to tell me he is only 21 or 22...double gross.  Mind you, I am not at all attracted to this guy, and now I'm stuck going on a date with him.

Luckily, the day of the date was super hectic at work and I ended up working overtime and missing the date.  So, I thought I was in the clear.  But this guy wouldn't take a hint...ok, to be fair I didn't give any clear hint, but I was never flirting with him, I had like one lame conversation with him.  He kept coming up to the front desk and asking about my schedule, and I kept putting him off.  Then, one I got on the employee bus that takes us from the lodge to the employee house about 20 minutes away, and who was on the bus...this creeper.  He lives at the lodge, so he doesn't even need to be on the bus, he rode it, just to trap me.  It was horribly awkward, and when we got back to employee housing, he told me he could ride the bus with me every day, I just laughed nervously.  Then, he offered to walk me to my room, but I told him I was meeting up with a friend to watch a movie.

The next day, he was lurking around the front desk towards the end of my shift so we could ride the bus together, and I was thoroughly creeped out, so I told my supervisor about the situation, because I'm a baby and can't clean up my own messes.  I was hiding in the back and she went out and asked if she could help him.  He asked where I was, and she told him I had clocked out, but she was going to be giving me rides home from now on.

I've seen him in passing a couple times now, but I think he got the hint.

Cartoon Partners Wanted

I'm back in the states, Alaska to be exact.  In my pursuit to never let myself be comfortable for very long I left my cushy job and good friends to shiver in the land of the midnight sun.  I thought I might be ready to move back to the states for good, but wanted Alaska as a buffer, a tester state, if you will, to see if I can handle living here before going back to big america.  I don't regret coming here, and I'm mostly enjoying it, but I'm missing HK immensely.  I don't know that I hate America necessarily, but I do know I'm not a fan of these asshole Americans I keep running into here.  I quickly made friends with some Mormons, and I'm slowly finding some drinking friends, but all in all my life here is much tamer, so i'll do my best to keep kellyasacartoon interesting for the next few months (I'm working a summer seasonal job, so i'll get out of here by the end of September).  Until then, to make up for my lameness, I will be accepting reader submissions.  Send me your stories of mistakes and grandeur, and I will cartoonize them, or if you want them to stay in your own words, I can just post them.  Send your submissions to kellyasacartoon@gmail.com

One Upper

I recently took a trip to California to visit my good friend Caitlin.  While I was there we decided to do something super American, so we went to a baseball game in San Francisco, it just so happened they were playing the LA Dodgers, and apparently they are rivals...I really only go to baseball games for beer and hot dogs.  We were doing just that when I heard the guy in front of my loudly heckling.  He was really loud!  I turned to Caitlin and told her I was in love with him and was probably meant to marry him.  I hadn't seen his face, but what can I say, I like loud people.

He turned around and our eyes met, and this moment may have turned me into a believer in love at first sight.  This is what happened next...

Alas, all true romances end in tragedy, I was getting on a plane for Alaska in less than an hour after we met.  Like a true knight on a white horse, he told me he wanted to take me home and lock me in a room with him for days, I would have happily complied, but adventure was calling (I did confirm that the taking me home bit was a come on and not a threat, safe).

A few days later, I was talking about this guy to some friends and they told me to do a missed connection on craigslist, so I wrote up a post explaining the details of our meeting.  Here are the responses I got:

1)  I like your ad, I thought it was cute.  GO GIANTS!!!  Hi. My name is Bill.  I'm a 45 yr old white  prof. male. I'm  very open  minded, spontaneous, athletic, fit, sexual, romantic  and I have a great personality. I was never married and I don't have any children.I live on Nob Hill. I enjoy going to the beach,  mts.,parks and the city  . I work in the financial   industry. I  hope to talk  to you soon, Bill

2)  Hi

3) Hello there how are you.

I think I not the guy you are talking about. But I love giants, so if you want we can talk, maybe we can go to a giants game together

4)  I'm Geoff

So, I guess the search was kind of a fail.  But I haven't given up hope.  If anyone knows of a parametic/EMT in the San Francisco Bay area with brown hair and a loud clear shouting voice whose name is maybe named marco or carlos or it could be something totally different, I'm really horrible at names, please let me know.  DO NOT STAND IN THE WAY OF TRUE LOVE!!!

Complisult #341

What an exciting day!! Today marks the inaugural post of Complisult on kellyasacartoon.blogspot.  A complisult is when an insult is mixed with a compliment so the person telling you it doesn't have to feel bad.  I love getting and receiving them, but to be honest i'm usually on the receiving end.  Enjoy.  If you have any copmlisults you would like to contribute feel free to email them to me at kellyasacartoon@gmail.com.

Mars Attacks

True Crime Story

My longest friend Rachael talking to me on skype after I told her the condom on my floor story.

This is the horrible screen shot she took of me to give to the producers of True Crime (I'm still not sure if this is a tv show or a segment on a newscast or something else entirely).  Notice my horrible hungover grossness, and her jack-o-lantern smiling at my horribleness, I think it makes for a good contrast.

Diva Cup

I know I've mentioned in previous posts that i use a tampon alternative, the diva cup, its new-agey earth-friendly way to menstruate.  If that description grossed you out PLEASE STOP READING NOW, it only gets worse.

This is me in the bathrooms at work, I did you the liberty of not drawing my poop face, you're welcome.

But this is how my face looked when my diva cup slipped out when I was pooping.  

I finished my business, turned around and took a second look.  OH NO!!!  I'm at work, i need something to deal with my lady business, and my best bet is floating next to my poop, why did this have to happen?!?

not much of a choice...

Luckily none of my co-workers were in the restroom, it has three stalls and three shared sinks, so after fishing out my diva cup I had to just wipe it off with toilet paper and put it back in, before bravely leaving the stall and washing my hands at the shared sink...I think I got away with it.