Lucky Dress

On my way home from Alaska I stopped in Denver for the wedding of two of my good friends from Hong Kong.  I got in on a Friday and the wedding wasn't until Sunday, so I met up with the wedding party and a slew of out of town guests at a bar downtown.  I was chatting it up with some of the groom's friends, one groomsman in particular.  He asked for my number, and I laughed and said I didn't have an American phone.  Then, he asked for my hotel room number.  I laughed again and typed it into his phone as a joke.  He also ended up facebook friending me before I made a hasty exit with the bride to be and her sister.

The next night, I was doing a bit of interneting from my hotel room, when the groomsman stated messaging me.  It got flirty and he asked if he should come over to my hotel room.  I straight up asked him if he was trying to bang me.  He said yes, and pointed out that I had given him my room number.  I said it was given jokingly, and it's not like I gave him a key to my room.  See, I'm not always trying to sleep around.  He apologized, and said we should hang out tomorrow at the wedding.

Since I was coming straight from Alaska I mostly had hiking clothes, so nothing really summer wedding appropriate.  I did a dash in shop to a Nordstrom Rack and found a cheap unflattering ten dollar dress, perfect.  I didn't get shoes, because I wouldn't have been able to get them to fit in any of my bags, so I just wore flip flops.  I go to the wedding and it is very nice, a short and sweet and funny ceremony followed by lots of booze and dancing.  The groomsman finds me and apologizes again for the previous night's assumption.  I tell him not to worry about it, and that its flattering.

We end up dancing and chatting for a fair portion of the evening, and then he suggests we get some air.  So we go outside, then, he leads me to this room in the venue where the groom's side of the party was hanging out before the wedding, it was basically a man cave with leather couches and a billiards table.  We obviously start making out, things get heated and he's going for it.  This other random guy walks into the room and goes into the bathroom.  I know I should stop, but I'm freaking out because I'm moving back to Missouri for a year, and I'm sure I'm not going to want to bang anyone there, so I let things progress and ask him if he has a condom.  He has to run out of that room to another to go get one out of his backpack (just realizing now that its kind of weird that he has a backpack at a wedding, right?). Then, the stranger comes out of the bathroom, and I'm just lying there on the couch alone.  He asks what happened to the groomsman, and I say he went to go get a condom...honesty is the best policy, and all that.  The groomsman comes back soon after and cums soon after that, and with that I've had my first one night stand in the states in over a year and a half, also the first american I've slept with in over a year and a half.

Fast forward to a week later.  I'm in my car on my way to a job interview wearing the dress I wore to the wedding with a blazer over it.  It dawns on me that I didn't wash it after the wedding, so I'm wearing a dress I had sex in to an interview without washing it first.  I decide if I don't get called back after the interview the dress is cursed and I will have to throw it away because the groomsman sure isn't trying to call me back.

Fast forward to four days later, I do get a call back, of course it's the job and not the groomsman, but a call back is a call back, so I'm keeping the dress, and trying to stop sleeping with Americans, definitely not sleeping with Missourians though.

The Spike...part two

About a month earlier I'd gone to this bar that was in an old rail car in Denali National Park.  That night I lost my phone, but ended up stealing someone's old man blazer.  This is what happened when we went back there.

Then, I kind of threw a tantrum for Drew calling me out in front of the guy who the blazer belonged to...not that any of us knew who he was because when the incident happened we were far too gone.  So, it was just a crazy coincidence that I happened to be sitting next to the guy.

We got our beers and headed to the back patio, where they keep the hula hoops.  Then, the guy I took the blazer from, whose name is Gentry (could he be more of a hipster?!?) came out and sheepishly asked if I was really going to give it back because he was going to a wedding in August and he needed to wear that blazer, I countered with the fact that I was also going to a wedding in August, and I would need to wear the blazer as well.  Things escalated, there was a push-up contest, some shouting, and apparently we aren't welcomed at that bar anymore...but guess who's keeping the blazer :)  I would feel bad if it weren't for the fact that this hipster told us he makes three times what we make and he just picks up trash.  He can defo treat himself to a new blazer, I on the other hand HAVE to rely on what I can scavenge.

Lunch Leftovers

Burn, Lexy one, Kelly zero

Two Night Stand

I have a lot of one night stands. A little more than two years ago is when I had my first one night stand. The first one was to prove to myself that despite being broken up with by the only guy I'd ever been with I could still find someone who would want me, even if its just for a night. I know this is simple minded dumb-girl logic, but I also feel like it was part of the break up process. Being me, I ended up taking it way to far. I'm a slut by all definitions of the word. I have drunkenly slept with a lot of dudes. The closest I got to sober sex was morning after go-rounds, and let's face it, hung-over sex isn't exactly sober sex, its clumsy and sloppy and yeah, ok, I kind of like it a lot, but there is something to be said for being clear headed during sex.

When in Hong Kong I slept with people on holiday mostly. There's something about my brand of crazy that seems appealing to dudes on vacation. I'm their crazy one night stand story, but they are all my stories, my life is a collection of crazy one night stand stories. Still there would be the occasional night when I would run into multiple dudes I had banged, which is kind of a shitty feeling. But I console myself with the fact that my stories are almost always funny, and I feel that gives my poor choices a redeeming quality that makes them ok.  

When the new year came, and I may or may not have been rufeed, and I may or may not have slept with some guy, if I could remember I would give more details, I chose to make some changes. I did set a goal of not sleeping with anyone unless I knew their name, so far so good on that one. I don't want to cut out one night stands altogether, because I think they are fun and I like meeting someone new and acting on impulses and living in the moment. Even so, it is probably time for me to slow down, which was easy for me to do coming to Alaska. A lot of people come here and start drinking a lot. I've slowed my drinking down considerably. Before I came here I had only slept with one guy this year, and I did get his name. There isn't really anyone here I wanted to sleep with, so I was prepared to go the whole summer season with out incident. But, hey, its me...so of course I ended up sleeping with someone, which leads me to the point of this post (sorry for the long heart-felt exposition, it can't always be funny little cartoons).

The first week or so up here I was working out in the gym, there was a really attractive guy working out also. This employee gym is especially small and dank, there isn't much to look at, and I guess you aren't supposed to admit this, but I just stare at other people when I'm at the gym. Its kind of boring there, and its not like there is a lot to look at, so yeah, if you are in a gym and I'm there I'm going to oogle you, get over it. I was eyeing this guy hard, and I thought he may have been eyeing back, but I was also sweating profusely and who can see properly through all that. When he left I thought he said something like see you around, but my headphones were in, so I wasn't completely sure about that either, and I still had a mile to go, and I don't care how attractive you are, workout comes first.

The first month of work went by and I didn't really see this guy, i'm short-sighted with these things, so I kind of forgot he existed. Until, I worked late one night and missed my dinner break so I got “fourth meal” which is a voucher for a late night meal that you can cash in at the employee bar. I went over there to do just that, when who comes in and sits down beside me? The guy from the gym. He buys me a beer we get to chatting. He is from Serbia, so I tell him I just went there in February. He asks for my number and I have to explain I don't have one, but he can email me, he makes a joke about even his 80 year old grandma has a phone, but takes me email just the same, and we make loose plans to see each other the next evening since we both have the following day off.

The next night rolls around, and work is over, so I should be going to meet this guy at the employee bar, but its the employee bar, and I don't really want to go over there alone, and I have anxiety that he won't show up and I'll just be sitting alone looking weird, plus I'm really tired, so I kind of bitch out. He emails and asks where I am, I tell him I'm so sleepy. He says he really wanted to see me tonight and kiss me. I hem and haw over what to say, and end up giving him my room number. I tell myself I will just make out with him if he ends up coming over. He does come over. I do more than make out.

I had the chance to go on a date, even it if is a quasi-date, but, instead I just get lazy and skip that whole part and sleep with this guy. I was completely sober, so at least there is that. But now I know its not a drunk kelly problem, its just a kelly problem. To my surprise, this guy still wants to hang out the next day, so he comes over again and we repeat what we did the night before.

I see him the next day and he hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, in full daylight, in front of other people. This freaks me out and I'm sure I go rigid and prickly. I keep emailing, because in writing I have no trouble flirting and talking about how I feel, but in person I can only seem to mumble one word answers and make minimal eye contact. He stops emailing back.

This is the story of my first sober sex since I've been single. This is also the story of the elusive two-night stand...which I think is more insulting than a one night stand. For the record, I went over a month without seeing this guy around before I slept with him, but now I see him all over the place, thanks law of averages. I feel like there should be a moral to this story, but I'm not sure what it is, if you think of one add it to the comments please.

Weirdsies

Working in Alaska for a hotel that employs around 500 people, you find yourself hanging out with people you otherwise wouldn't.  This is true for most of my travels, and one of my favorite things about living abroad.  However, this seasonal type of work is more of a young person's game.  So, I suddenly have lots of friends who are around 10 years younger than me.  I don't mind, I think I act at least 15 years younger than I am, so on a mental level we are the same.  One night after drinking with a 21 year old we had this heart to heart outside on a picni table.

What is weird is that I even asked this question, and of course I blacked the whole thing out and had to listen to him tell me about it the next day.

Complisult #744

There are only a few perks to working front desk and the unnamed corporate lodge i work for, and one of them is that sometimes we can nab things out of the lost and found.  Most of it is usually junk, but every now and then, there is something cool.  I like weird shit, so that helps too.

He then compared our bearded friend to Ed, Goofy's next door neighbour, but I am too intimidated to draw a cartoon of an already existing cartoon.  Also, the hat was claimed the next day, so I didn't get to keep it.

In the Bag

It took me a while, but I have managed to find some drinking friends here in Alaska. This story comes from my first big night out with them. It started innocently enough, with an afterwork hike, but the thing is, hiking makes you so thirsty. Three bars later, countless shots and beers in I find myself on the employee shuttle home, just me and the other last guy standing, three other friends had made their way home earlier...I'll just never understand people who know their limit. There's a chunk of the night before this that I don't remember, and a big part after this I don't remember, but what I do remember is that I threw up into my hiking bag while on this shuttle home. Luckily, the guy I was with convinced me to empty my bag out before I threw up into it. We had gone hiking right after work, so my uniform was in there along with my wallet and camera. My friend, assured me the next day that I was very private about my voming and he didn't even realize I had done it, until afterwards I just kept repeating, “I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST THREW UP IN MY BAG!!” He was pretty drunk as well though, and apparently immediately forgot I had thrown up. He was talking to someone else on the bus and was going on about how it smelled like mozzerella sticks and it was making him really hungry. When he enquired as to where the smell was coming from, the guy he was talking to made a disgusted face and pointed and me and my vom bag.

When we got back to employee housing my friend helped me back to my cabin, and talked me into throwing my vom bag away when I just nonchalantly began carrying towards my cabin, I owe him a huge thank you for that. The next day, in typicall Hong Kong Kelly Style, I was an hour late to work and I looked like hell. Take that America, you can't change me!!