You would think peeing my pants would be the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me within a weeks time. Well, if you did think that, you forgot about how stupid crazy I get on Tuesday nights.
I went to open mic at a local bar with some friends, we go there most weeks. The last thing I remember is being behind the bar at the end of the night when the staff lets me be the special guest bartender and mix up my shitty ideas of shots. I put soda water in the shaker and then had it on upside down or something and, then I got put back on the other side of the bar.
I was out until somewhere between three and five am. I woke up late for work, and looked like a hungover mess when I got there. I chatted with my friends at lunch and asked if i left when they did, and they laughed and said no. HUH...who am I hanging out with and where am I going?? Apparently, we all left around the same time to go get taxis, and then when we got to the cue, they turned around and I was gone.
I suffered through the rest of the day at work and when I got back home what did I find? Some cigarette ash in my bathroom and a used condom on the floor by my trashcan. I have zero memory of bringing anyone home with me. Upon further inspection of said condom...because how else am I going to find out what I did last night, I saw that there was no cum in it, so I'm going to assume I brought someone back with me...presumably a smoker, and while he was having a smoke in the bathroom and putting on the condom I passed out. That's the only reasonable explanation, right, and I'm nothing if not reasonable. Every used condom has a silver lining!
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