...and i'm back

Well, I didn't quite make it the full 30 days without booze, I made it to 28, which is 4 weeks, so i don't feel too bad about that.  It was Saturday night, and the third friend birthday I was going to have to celebrate without booze.  I had had enough, and by had enough I mean I hadn't had ANY (booze) in so long, and it was a birthday, so it wasn't only me suffering, but my friend, basically if i wanted to be a good friend I needed to toast to her birthday!!

I made my decision with just enough time for Becks and I to have a couple pre-drinks before we left to meet the party...innocent enough

This was probably the longest I'd gone without a single drink since i started drinking at 22, my body was not at all prepared for the carnage, neither was LKF.  Please note, the birthday girl in blue in the background, priceless!!

This is the best picture I have of the evening, by best I mean the only one where I don't look like a raging drunken asshole.

case and point

Then, we found this palm branch and carried it around with us for the next half hour reenacting a Jesus play.

Oh, no, I didn't go home with him from the bar, we went to an after-after hours bar next, and then I went home with him.  He was french, and when I left the next day he gave me his business card, and as I was on the MTR going home I gave it a look, and turns out he is a lingerie advertising manager, only in Hong Kong!!

2012 In Review

When I first moved to HK, my friends and I decided we would keep a Love Chart and keep track of all the guys we got with.  There was a point system depending on what you did with the guy ranging from 1-10.  And because everyone loves a little competition we decided that the person with the most points at the end of the year would get a flight paid for by the other two.  So you can see in the picture there are three columns one for each of us, however, Jenna went home for summer break and met a boy and fell in love and soon found herself off of the chart.  Becks' list is on the left, and mine is on the right, thank goodness Jen bowed out because as you can see I filled up my column and had a bit of spillover into what would have been hers (thanks Jen!).  A couple weeks ago Becks and I counted up our year-end tally and here are our scores

Becks:  65

Kelly:  125

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNN, I was busy!!!!!  I have no idea where I found the time to interview, accept and quit so many jobs...I think that makes me a multi-tasker :)

i won't divulge Becks' list, but mine is fair game, so here is the list of guys, and remember you only have to make out to get on the list, and i can easily make out with three guys in a single night, so i don't think i'm quite as much of a slut as this makes me seem...haha, yeah right.

American (girl house)
Toefuck
1st German
Ali (black)
Taipei
Ryan (Why did you have sex with me?)
Gray Hair
German (not German Cheng!)
Italian Alberto
Mick
Hakuna Matata
Dancing Lawyer
Glenn (Chav's friend)
Abram
Bacon Strips
Yuckland
There was a guy here
Chris
Hand and Mouth...too small
Dreaded Drummer
Taxi Johnny HAHAHAHA
Cat Killer Brian
Sweedish Fish
Fat Fake Gay
Rhys
(M) Nick with a silent 'J'
HarmonIANca
GigAndrew
Sailor Sam
Crazy Curly
No Hands!
Beef Wellington James
Fake Brad
I can't believe its not butter

Christmas Packages Come In All Shapes And Sizes

This sums up the Christmas break for me and my friends perfectly:

Jenna:  went home for her winter holiday and her boyfriend and her decided he would move to HK, so he is coming over in February.

Becks:  stayed in HK for break and got a Chinese boyfriend.

Me:  got back from winter holiday and was very sick, according to the 5th doctor I saw, I have herpes.

*****DISCLAIMER*****
it's the common kind of herpes aka a cold sore, so considering all the strangers I have sex with, I think I'm still doing pretty well, but still, was that really necessary Santa?!?!?!

I'm Groupon Famous!!

I've been taking a dance class with some girls from work for the past month or so.  Its called Jazz/Funk Intro, but it is hardly a class for beginners.  We have to do popping, which is really hard, and sometimes gives me a stomachache, still its really fun.  Anyway, last week at school my friend was looking at groupon and came across this and ad for Fame Union, the dance studio we go to, featuring a sample video...WITH US IN IT!!!  so, I am the tall non asian in the back, you can't really see me that well, which is probably a good thing for the dance studio, but still, it's enough for me to think I'm a pretty big deal!!

check out the video here!!!

Jump into January

My challenge for January was to...well jump into January  but when i got back to HK from the states I was crazy sick and my first week back to work i went to a different doctor every day.  I just kept getting referrals and no one knew what was wrong with me.  It was really frustrating and I had no voice and no Chinese language skills to use even if had a voice.  I ended up being put on anti-virals for shingles, which kind of makes sense because chicken pox was going around the school i work in.  right, as i was saying the challenge for January was meant to be "jump in to January  but it turned out to be more of a crippled hobble into January  and as it ends up i didn't drink for that week i was sick, so i'm giving up drinking for 30 days, i know, i shocked myself with that one as well.  with the week head start thanks to my virus I figured this was the best chance i ever had of making it 30 days.  My drinking fast will end February 4th, so I'm kind of on the lunar calendar for this month, when in Asia...

Coincidentally I have had ZERO sex since i stopped drinking... also i think i'm using "coincidentally" wrong here. 

an email from mom

If you think I'm funny (or even if you don't) then you should meet my mom.  She is actually a lot classier than me and not nearly as...well, not sure of the right word, but i'll go with in your face as I am.  Still, she has her own kind of mom humour going on.  This is an email I got from her before I went home for Christmas.  She loves placing emphasis on words, but she will often do this by using quotation marks wrongly, however in this email she managed to used them in her own way AND the right way.  Oh, and sorry about my face, but its where I keep my mouth where my words come out, so just close your eyes.

Remember Remember December

As my loyal readers know, I have been giving myself a challenge each month, and for December it was no blacking out.  This was by far my hardest challenge because you don't know this happens until the next day when people are telling you that you peed on their floor, or were making out with your hands over your head as though you were being mugged, or at least that's how it goes for me.  Luckily, I went home for part of December so that cut back on the weekends in HK, which have proven to be the most blackouttiest.  Unlucky for me this meant I could remember all the crazy awkward things I did.  Cue highlight reel...

Weekend 1:  made out with a guy in an ally, but before doing it ran up to Becks to tell her I was going to do that

Weekend 2:  went home with a guy and got as close as i'll probably ever get to "making love" (i won't even get in to how much i despise this name for sex) and because i'm me during the foreplay part I announced I had a blister on my bum from having a wedgie during my run that morning.

Weekend 3:  after staying at our local restaurant hangout after hours with the boss and some of the staff i performed my flag dance for all of them using a knife.  I told a friend at work about this the next day and he said I was probably actually robbing them and i was just remembering wrong.

Weekend 4:  going out with becks wearing holiday masks and carrying canes decorated to look like candy canes and after making a bartender take endless unfortunate looking pictures of us realizing we looked like we were the rapists from clockwork orange...and only the night before i finished three bottles of wine on my own and then braided all my hair and emailed my ex

Weekend 5:  on new years eve i remember to midnight...but i do have some spotty bits after that, i went home with a stranger friend and when i woke up the next morning there was an opened tub of butter next to the bed...the best i can hope for is that it was his suggestion and i'm not some sort of fat fettishy fuck

thanks for the memories december!