frantic fringe

After I gave my month's notice at work I started going out big on Tuesday nights for my HK big brother's open mic nights (this is a music thing, not a comedy thing).  Then, because I'm such an irresponsible asshole I was often late to work on Wednesday mornings, often requiring multiple calls from my co-workers to wake me up.  I believe on this particular morning my pal called me 11 times before I actually got up (thanks again for that Emma).  I was crazy late by this time, so I quickly changed my shirt, brushed my teeth and ran out the door.  This day I did actually get to work right before I was actually late.  My HK big brother also happens to be my boss, so he knew full well I was a hung over mess.  Thank goodness he is also a pretty relaxed and cool guy.  

name game

Those who have been following kellyasacartoon from the start know that I try to give myself a challenge every month.  I used to post about these, but decided they are not all that interesting, so while I haven't posted about any of my challenges this last year, it is still something I'm doing.

At the beginning of this year I decided I wanted to do the monthly challenges, but have them carry over throughout the year.  So what I start in January continues to the end of the year, which was no western fast food.  Each month I add a new challenge that I have to continue until the end of the year.

I was telling my friend this over skype and she asked me what my challenges were so far.  January was no western fast food, February was to walk at least 10,000 steps every day, and March was no sleeping with a guy unless I know his name.  I thought this was a great rule to make and is my attempt at becoming a better person, some people see it in a different light.

Coincidentally, I haven't had sex since I made this rule...I have made out with some people who's names I do remember though...baby steps.

Silver Linings

You would think peeing my pants would be the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me within a weeks time.  Well, if you did think that, you forgot about how stupid crazy I get on Tuesday nights.

I went to open mic at a local bar with some friends, we go there most weeks.  The last thing I remember is being behind the bar at the end of the night when the staff lets me be the special guest bartender and mix up my shitty ideas of shots.  I put soda water in the shaker and then had it on upside down or something and, then I got put back on the other side of the bar.

I was out until somewhere between three and five am.  I woke up late for work, and looked like a hungover mess when I got there.  I chatted with my friends at lunch and asked if i left when they did, and they laughed and said no.  HUH...who am I hanging out with and where am I going??  Apparently, we all left around the same time to go get taxis, and then when we got to the cue, they turned around and I was gone.

I suffered through the rest of the day at work and when I got back home what did I find?  Some cigarette ash in my bathroom and a used condom on the floor by my trashcan.  I have zero memory of bringing anyone home with me.  Upon further inspection of said condom...because how else am I going to find out what I did last night, I saw that there was no cum in it, so I'm going to assume I brought someone back with me...presumably a smoker, and while he was having a smoke in the bathroom and putting on the condom I passed out.  That's the only reasonable explanation, right, and I'm nothing if not reasonable.  Every used condom has a silver lining!

Good News, Bad News

Good News...I woke up pretty early

Bad News...I don't remember getting home

Good News...I didn't drunk eat a whole pizza or anything

Bad News...I peed my pants, I don't know how or why, I just know it happened

Good News...I made it out for my run

Bad News...I got caught in torrential downpour for the last 20 minutes of it (see picture)

Good News...Now I have legitimate wet clothes to put in my laundry so the laundromat lady hopefully won't realize there is pee on my jeans

Spanked

I woke up in a room I didn't know, alone and naked, but covered with a nice duvet.  I've been told by my friends that this is scary, it seemed like a nice enough space so I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

I woke up a second time to a knock on the door.  And a guy who I vaguely remember from the night before is there and asks why I'm in there.  "I don't know." -me "Well, I'm going back to bed, you can join me if you want," -him

Shit, I've somehow drunkenly gone home with a guy, slept with him, and then at some point wandered away and went to sleep in his spare bedroom.  First of all, well done Kelly for going home with a guy who even has a spare bedroom.  Second of all, what the fuck Kelly, why are you wandering around and sleeping allover strangers apartments.

None of my clothes are in this room, which is part of the reason I decided to roll over and go back to sleep when I first woke up.  I'm cool with waking up naked and alone, but I don't want to go wandering around in an unknown place naked and alone.  I find a t-shirt and put that on and then go into the guy's bedroom (*I would share his name, but I never seem to bother with details like that).

We fool around and chat.  And then he asks, "How's your ass?" I say, "Fine," but i'm thinking "What the fuck, did I have anal sex on a one night stand, what the hell is wrong with me?!?" I decide the best thing to do is just pretend like this is normal and move on to other conversation.

A little while later, I'm laying on my stomach and he sees my bum and says, "Oh man, your ass is really bruised!" I look at it, "Jesus Christ, did I fall down last night." "No, Its from me smacking your ass."

Ah, the sweet relief of knowing you didn't have anal sex with a stranger and instead just got spanked so hard and repeatedly that your entire ass was bruised for a week.

Still the (Gross) One

Skyping with Caitlin on a cold Hong Kong Sunday

The blanket still hasn't been washed...its almost summer now, so what's the point.

The Longest Hug

I have a guy friend here who I refer to as my Hong Kong big brother.  One day last week I was going to an open mic night with him and his wife and on the way there we ran into some guy he knew and the guy mistook me for Jacob's sister.  I'm such a weirdo, I was on some sort of weird sibling love cloud for the rest of the night.  

Last weekend, a friend and I went on a hike on Lantau and the ending point was near the beach he lives on, so we stopped by and hung out for a bit, played beach games and went and had dinner.  People who know Jacob, know when he is drunk he always wants to hug goodbye, its kind of a running joke between me and Caitlin after nights out as to how weird the Jacob hug at the end of the night is.  Well, after this goodbye hug, I'm definitely winning.

Then, in typical big brother fashion, he body-slammed me on the beach, thanks bro.