Remember Remember December

As my loyal readers know, I have been giving myself a challenge each month, and for December it was no blacking out.  This was by far my hardest challenge because you don't know this happens until the next day when people are telling you that you peed on their floor, or were making out with your hands over your head as though you were being mugged, or at least that's how it goes for me.  Luckily, I went home for part of December so that cut back on the weekends in HK, which have proven to be the most blackouttiest.  Unlucky for me this meant I could remember all the crazy awkward things I did.  Cue highlight reel...

Weekend 1:  made out with a guy in an ally, but before doing it ran up to Becks to tell her I was going to do that

Weekend 2:  went home with a guy and got as close as i'll probably ever get to "making love" (i won't even get in to how much i despise this name for sex) and because i'm me during the foreplay part I announced I had a blister on my bum from having a wedgie during my run that morning.

Weekend 3:  after staying at our local restaurant hangout after hours with the boss and some of the staff i performed my flag dance for all of them using a knife.  I told a friend at work about this the next day and he said I was probably actually robbing them and i was just remembering wrong.

Weekend 4:  going out with becks wearing holiday masks and carrying canes decorated to look like candy canes and after making a bartender take endless unfortunate looking pictures of us realizing we looked like we were the rapists from clockwork orange...and only the night before i finished three bottles of wine on my own and then braided all my hair and emailed my ex

Weekend 5:  on new years eve i remember to midnight...but i do have some spotty bits after that, i went home with a stranger friend and when i woke up the next morning there was an opened tub of butter next to the bed...the best i can hope for is that it was his suggestion and i'm not some sort of fat fettishy fuck

thanks for the memories december!