One Upper

I recently took a trip to California to visit my good friend Caitlin.  While I was there we decided to do something super American, so we went to a baseball game in San Francisco, it just so happened they were playing the LA Dodgers, and apparently they are rivals...I really only go to baseball games for beer and hot dogs.  We were doing just that when I heard the guy in front of my loudly heckling.  He was really loud!  I turned to Caitlin and told her I was in love with him and was probably meant to marry him.  I hadn't seen his face, but what can I say, I like loud people.

He turned around and our eyes met, and this moment may have turned me into a believer in love at first sight.  This is what happened next...

Alas, all true romances end in tragedy, I was getting on a plane for Alaska in less than an hour after we met.  Like a true knight on a white horse, he told me he wanted to take me home and lock me in a room with him for days, I would have happily complied, but adventure was calling (I did confirm that the taking me home bit was a come on and not a threat, safe).

A few days later, I was talking about this guy to some friends and they told me to do a missed connection on craigslist, so I wrote up a post explaining the details of our meeting.  Here are the responses I got:

1)  I like your ad, I thought it was cute.  GO GIANTS!!!  Hi. My name is Bill.  I'm a 45 yr old white  prof. male. I'm  very open  minded, spontaneous, athletic, fit, sexual, romantic  and I have a great personality. I was never married and I don't have any children.I live on Nob Hill. I enjoy going to the beach,  mts.,parks and the city  . I work in the financial   industry. I  hope to talk  to you soon, Bill

2)  Hi

3) Hello there how are you.

I think I not the guy you are talking about. But I love giants, so if you want we can talk, maybe we can go to a giants game together

4)  I'm Geoff

So, I guess the search was kind of a fail.  But I haven't given up hope.  If anyone knows of a parametic/EMT in the San Francisco Bay area with brown hair and a loud clear shouting voice whose name is maybe named marco or carlos or it could be something totally different, I'm really horrible at names, please let me know.  DO NOT STAND IN THE WAY OF TRUE LOVE!!!

Complisult #341

What an exciting day!! Today marks the inaugural post of Complisult on kellyasacartoon.blogspot.  A complisult is when an insult is mixed with a compliment so the person telling you it doesn't have to feel bad.  I love getting and receiving them, but to be honest i'm usually on the receiving end.  Enjoy.  If you have any copmlisults you would like to contribute feel free to email them to me at kellyasacartoon@gmail.com.

Mars Attacks

True Crime Story

My longest friend Rachael talking to me on skype after I told her the condom on my floor story.

This is the horrible screen shot she took of me to give to the producers of True Crime (I'm still not sure if this is a tv show or a segment on a newscast or something else entirely).  Notice my horrible hungover grossness, and her jack-o-lantern smiling at my horribleness, I think it makes for a good contrast.

Diva Cup

I know I've mentioned in previous posts that i use a tampon alternative, the diva cup, its new-agey earth-friendly way to menstruate.  If that description grossed you out PLEASE STOP READING NOW, it only gets worse.

This is me in the bathrooms at work, I did you the liberty of not drawing my poop face, you're welcome.

But this is how my face looked when my diva cup slipped out when I was pooping.  

I finished my business, turned around and took a second look.  OH NO!!!  I'm at work, i need something to deal with my lady business, and my best bet is floating next to my poop, why did this have to happen?!?

not much of a choice...

Luckily none of my co-workers were in the restroom, it has three stalls and three shared sinks, so after fishing out my diva cup I had to just wipe it off with toilet paper and put it back in, before bravely leaving the stall and washing my hands at the shared sink...I think I got away with it.