I woke up in a room I didn't know, alone and naked, but covered with a nice duvet. I've been told by my friends that this is scary, it seemed like a nice enough space so I just rolled over and went back to sleep.
I woke up a second time to a knock on the door. And a guy who I vaguely remember from the night before is there and asks why I'm in there. "I don't know." -me "Well, I'm going back to bed, you can join me if you want," -him
Shit, I've somehow drunkenly gone home with a guy, slept with him, and then at some point wandered away and went to sleep in his spare bedroom. First of all, well done Kelly for going home with a guy who even has a spare bedroom. Second of all, what the fuck Kelly, why are you wandering around and sleeping allover strangers apartments.
None of my clothes are in this room, which is part of the reason I decided to roll over and go back to sleep when I first woke up. I'm cool with waking up naked and alone, but I don't want to go wandering around in an unknown place naked and alone. I find a t-shirt and put that on and then go into the guy's bedroom (*I would share his name, but I never seem to bother with details like that).
We fool around and chat. And then he asks, "How's your ass?" I say, "Fine," but i'm thinking "What the fuck, did I have anal sex on a one night stand, what the hell is wrong with me?!?" I decide the best thing to do is just pretend like this is normal and move on to other conversation.
A little while later, I'm laying on my stomach and he sees my bum and says, "Oh man, your ass is really bruised!" I look at it, "Jesus Christ, did I fall down last night." "No, Its from me smacking your ass."
Ah, the sweet relief of knowing you didn't have anal sex with a stranger and instead just got spanked so hard and repeatedly that your entire ass was bruised for a week.
