Kelly as a Cartoon

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Through the Ages

We got out of school on Thursday, so my workmates and I planned on doing a mini bar crawl on Wednesday. We managed to make it to three bars before we decided to fuck it and just go to Wan Chai. Around midnight my co-workers started to dwindle until it was just me, and girl who used to work at our school and was just visiting for the week from Australia and a random girl from Germany who was travelling that we had just met earlier. Australia decided she was going to work on this group of older dudes to get them to buy her drinks. The oldest guy of the bunch, 60 ish started talking to me. It was a pleasant chat, nothing weird, and I think I have a certain all-american-clean-cut-goodie-two-shoes granddaughter appeal about me. Next thing I looked over and Australia had taken her shirt off and was just standing on the street in her bra and tights spinning around to show all these crusty guys her tattoos. German and I were a little gobsmacked, but tried to shrug it off, to each their own. Few minutes later, some of the other guys joined our convo and then directed out attention to Australia making out with one of the guys, which is more interesting when she had spend the earlier bits of the evening talking about her live-in boyfriend back in Australia. The guy she was making out with broke free and came over to ashamedly mumble, "That girl is crazy." That was the last I saw of Australia. The convo with the old guy took an unfortunate, but ultimately foreseeable, turn when he began telling me he and his wife had a "very open marriage." Apparently my granddaughter vibes were not strong enough, so we politely parted ways.

German and I went to another late hours bar because this was her first night out in HK, and I wanted to show her all the hot spots...and by that I mean Amazonia and Dusk Til Dawn, the first is half live music half prostitute bar and the second is just where all the late night scraps go to keep drinking and dancing. I went outside with German because she is a smoker and then this kid comes up to me, and within the first two minutes asks how old I am. I tell him I'm 30, and he says, "NO! I would have thought 25...26 max," and because its that point of drunk where you just repeat everything he says this over and over. The first time is flattering, or rather I know I should take it as flattery, but when it just keeps going on and on, I was about to lose it. Then, he tells me to just lie to him about my age, I declined. He is professing his love for me, when this creep comes over and takes a fancy to Germany, of course, I know the creep, so I try to encourage Germany to give him a chance, but she is not interested, and really, I can't blame her.

The positive side of me wants to congratulate myself for being hit on my guys with a 40 year span, leading me to believe I have mass appeal...but my logical side is not too impressed with this.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Bad Sport

In conclusion, we all lost. I also haven't been back to this bar since, but I think if I went there I would still be allowed in. Keeping hope alive.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Piss Bar

Yeah, ok, sometimes I frequent a pub called Piss Bar. When Caitlin moved to Kowloon side she found this little gem a couple doors down from her apartment. We started going here a lot.

Apparently we went there so much the girl who worked there knew how once we started we could never stop, so she gave us some economic advice.

Or life advice...I'm not sure

Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Time I Met a Guy Named Mohammed

Of course this story starts with me being out with Caitlin and Emma, having a quiet-ish night in TST. Emma had to leave first to catch a ferry back to Lamma, and Caitlin and I never know when to quit, so we took this as a sign to have a couple more bottles of wine. Everyone at the bar had left except us and the table next to us.

Turns out it was some guys in town for a Geo-electrical engineering conference, once i'd exhausted the industry buzzwords I could think of, those being "cable" and "wire" we did the usual exchange of who are you and where are you from. One of the guys was named Mohammed and he was from Iran, but had been living in Belgium for a while, working on his doctorate, his girlfriend was there too, she was an artist tagging along for holiday purposes, then some Spanish guy and a Belgium dude also here for the conference. We told them we were from the States and Caitlin was getting ready to move back. So he told us how is mom was always asking when he would come back to Iran, but he really didn't want to. He enjoyed living in Belgium and what was he supposed to do back in Iran...do the nightly prayer and then shout "Down with America," one arm held high, with the rest of the Iranians....Caitlin and I were both speechless and then started laughing insanely. I double checked and asked him if that was true, and he confirmed. Unbelievable!! This is one of the best stories I've ever heard

After this I got his business card we made lose plans to meet up the next day for Caitlin's going away party

The next day at work, Emma asked if we had stayed out late. I relayed the story of our new friend, and said I didn't think we had stayed out much after she left...then I sat for a minute and had a memory, and had to amend that statement because I recalled the engineers leaving and Caitlin and I still sitting there with half a bottle of wine. The bar staff gave us two plastic cups and poured the wine into them and sent us on our way so they could close up. Most bars in Asia are just always open, so I can't be sure how long we were there, but I would like to extend my apologize to the bar staff, for being those two lame-os that don't know when to leave.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Advent Gecko

I'm not sure why, but I have drawn myself as though I'm a Tim Burton cartoon in some of these...try to ignore that.

This is what I get for being so greedy...I still ate all the chocolates, I just took a day or two off to forget about the gecko.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Personal Growth

Last Saturday I lost my debit card. This was after my drunk brain thinking my friend had left when she actually hadn't, so I spent the night hanging out with the DJ in Al's Diner and doing shots with the manager. If I know drunk kelly (which may or may not be true) I'm sure I was trying to talk to the DJ about One Direction and Tinie Tempah in a completely incoherent annoying fan girl. And special bonus for myself for spending my most drunken moments with the most sober people in a bar...I'm really good at mingling. Anyway, when I woke up the next morning I looked inside my wallet (another bonus for not losing my entire wallet) I had in fact lost my debit card, but I still had my HKID and at some point I had picked up a business card for some wine company...all in all it seems like I came out ahead.