World Wide Weirdos (www.datingonlinesucks.com)

When I realized I was going to have to move back to my hometown I wanted to put a positive spin on it.  So, I made goals involving hiking at all the state parks, trying all of the state micro-brew beers and I started online dating.  I thought it would be funny, and I didn't really date much in HK, so this would be a good chance to practice some dating skills.  I was fully ready for some weird but hilarious situations...i wasn't ready for the shitty wasteland that being single in your 30s can be.

That being said...I will share the shitty times because, this is my life, and if I don't write it out, its like it never happened, because I sure can't remember every shitty thing that happens (I've used "shitty" more in this post than I usually do in a whole year...that was not one of my goals when moving home...maybe it should have been)

I had Tinder for approximately a week in HK.  I got it swiped a bit, talked to a few guys, but never even go to the actual phone number exchange phase.  Then I had a nightmare that guys on the street were recognizing me from Tinder and were calling me a whore and a slut, and it was horrible, so I deleted the app the next day.

Well, fast-forward to being back in the Midwest, with an embarrassing lack of friends, my job doesn't involve much interaction with people under the age of 60, so...i got Tinder up and running on my phone.  I still mostly swipe left (this isn't a political statement, left = no thanks in the Tinder world).  But every now and then I manage a match.  I matched with this guy, and he seemed ok for the first little bit of chatting, a little funny...a little chubby...but all in all ok.  Well, of course I was wrong.  We exchanged numbers and he started sending me dick pics.  Then he asked to jack off on skype, I declined.  I said that is like all the shame of a one night stand with out any of the gratification.  I just don't see the point of it.  This had to have been back in October or November.  As of today's date, the last dick pic he sent was February 1st.  No provocation or response from me with in the last three months.  Well...sometime in January I was drunk when he sent a dick pic, and I wrote back that I didn't understand why he didn't just try to sleep with me...but that was from more of a journalistic standpoint, not an I'm interested standpoint.  Either way, since then I have not responded.

I asked a guy friend about this, and his stance was that he only thought girls were in to dick pics if there was a chance that in the future that dick would get the girl off.  I could't agree more.  What do I care what your dick looks like if its not going to fuck me (and I do me fuck me, not fuck me over, unless by fuck me over you mean fuck me over a bed/table/appliance...you get the idea).

Anyway, despite all of this, Tinder is still my best way to meet people.   I'm thinking of trying to frequent a coffee shop, or be a regular somewhere so I can maybe be picked up by a dude the old fashioned way.  Until then all I just have to keep swiping.