Fuck Up

I got two speeding tickets in the month of January.  I won't get into the details, but the first one was well deserved, the second I think the officer would have had to had a series of intricate mirrors set up for his radar to have clocked me.  I looked up an old friend who is now an attorney and asked if he could help me out.  this is a reinterpretation of our exchange:

*the attorney is on the left, I'm on the right

Hi Friend!

I know I haven't seen or spoken to you in years, 

but I got this speeding ticket...

Do you think you could help me out?  

Also, I'm back in America now, 

so we should totally hang out!!

Hi Kelly!

Yes, I'm at a law firm here and 

I handle lots of speeding tickets. 

Send me the ticket, and I will see 

what I can do for you.

What a wonderful turn of events.

Let me know how much the charge is, 

we can meet for lunch for a cash hand-off.

  Can I please slide the money to you 

under the table?

Of course, but you must wrap it in a newspaper.

Perfect!  I'll get a trench-coat for the occasion!!

end scene

We met, and the hand-off happened, and it was glorious.  That was on Saturday.  The following day my dad mentions he has just paid off the car I've been using since I've been home.  Come Monday morning, I'm making my usual hour and a half commute, and about an hour and ten minutes into the drive I hit a patch where I lose the radio station I listen to in the mornings.  I decide to youtube this new song I'm obsessed with.  While I'm trying to type in his name I sideswipe a guardrail.  I just barely clean up my last mess before I make a new one!!  I get to work and am just stewing in anger at myself.  My boss comes in and is cheery and asks how my weekend was.  I spin around to face him and say, "I just can't stop fucking up!!" and explain what happened.  He thought it was hilarious and ran out to my car to check out the damage.

Since I'm sure you all want to know what hot jam I was trying to youtube, check it out here.  It's basically about me, except its from a dude's perspective instead of a chick's, but I'm sure you'll see the similarities.